Letters to the Afterlife
by YamiYugiCandy
Summary: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. The five stages of grief. Angsty/Fluffy. Yugi's POV.
1. Stage 1: Denial

Thanks for tuning into my newest story! :3  
This story shows Yuugi going through the five stages of grief as he writes to Atem.

Angsty/Fluffy. Maybe a little hint of Yaoi, if you look REALLY hard, but other than that, no.

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_Denial is usually only a temporary defense for the individual.  
This feeling is generally replaced with heightened awareness of positions and individuals that will be left behind after death._

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Dear Spiri-  
Dear Pharao-  
Dear Ate-

Dear Yami,

Let me start off by apologizing for calling you 'Yami' even though we went through—for lack of a better word—hell to find your real name. I know that I should call you by it, and that you deserve to be called it, but to me you are always Yami. You will always be Yami. Period. End of that. Let's move on.

Okay, this is just…weird. Anzu told me I should write to you—even though there is no possible way you can receive this letter where you are, but anyway—she says I need to get my words out there instead of bottling everything up inside and stacking it all together until I explode. She says it'll make me feel better. I think she's just quoting Oprah. She's gung-ho over that woman. I don't get it—I mean, she is pretty wise, but some women treat her like she's God. Oprah, I mean, not Anzu. Oh, dear, deffinitely not Anzu. If Anzu was God, everything but dancing would be a sin. No offence to her, but one can only take so much. I'm getting off subject. Anyway, Anzu thinks it's great that I've grown up and blah, blah, blah—I'll spare you the rant. But I think I'm awful. I'm not cut out to be the king of games. I feel like…like I stole your title.

I wasn't going to do it. Write to you, I mean. I think that it's…pretty foolish. Because you can't be gone. Like gone, gone. There's no way. We went through so much, and then that's it? It's just asinine to even start to think that—after everything—you'd just leave like that. Like poof, snap my fingers, and away you go. Like how the genie in Aladdin appeared and disappeared. Wait, you didn't see that, did you? Well, that sucks. It's a good movie. Wow, I keep getting off track. The Yami I knew wouldn't do this to me—just leave. He wouldn't just give a thumb up and walk away. He wouldn't, because that's like giving up, and there's no way in hell that you would ever give up something, ever!

Remember the duel? I bet you do. "A winner should not be on his knees," you told me. Man…I was happy when you said how proud you were of me. It was like you finally saw me as an equal. You know when little kids practically worship their hero? They love them, they want to be them, and they'd do anything to get that hero to see them. That was like me, always trailing after you. But I didn't mind being in your shadow, Yami, not really. There's nothing wrong in letting someone else have the glory—you know I'm too introverted to be in the spotlight anyway.

When I first released you from your prison—I call it that because that it what it is; a dark, complex, terrifying prison—I would've given anything to get rid of you. People around me were getting hurt, I was blacking out and losing my memory, I could feel that darker side of you waiting to consume me. I still don't understand it. I think…I think the darkness just drove you insane, and it was part of my duty to bring you back. And I did. You became…something amazing. Something I could strive to be.

I'm probably not making much sense, am I? I can't get myself to say what Anzu thinks I should. Because…well…you cannot be gone. You'd never turn your back on me. We're connected. Two halves of one. You can't live without half your heart, right? One can't live without the other. So…that means that you didn't go. So…what, then? I just imagined the whole duel? Then why is the puzzle gone? Why does everyone keep walking around with these sad looks? I just don't understand. I am thoroughly confused, which really sucks. The Yami I know would've fought tooth and nail to stay. Or does that mean I didn't know you as well as I thought?

My hand is cramping up. I'm just going to go to bed for the night…sort this all out later. I'm positive that a headache is coming on.

-Yuugi

P.S – Anzu is wrong. Everybody is wrong. You're not gone, and there is no point in me writing this letter or any other letter if your still here.

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	2. Stage 2: Anger

Hey, all! I added something in the previous chapter. It's EXACTLY after the begining A/N. But that's the only thing.  
Welcome to chapter two! Yuugi's second letter to the dead (but not actually dead) Atem (because he's still alive...but in the afterlife...so he's dead, according to our world's standards, but he's still alive according...to...uh, nevermind. Just enjoy the chapter!)

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_Once in the second stage, the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue._  
_Because of anger, the person is very difficult to care for due to misplaced feelings of rage._  
_Any individual that symbolizes life or energy is subject to projected resentment because of greif._

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Dear Asshole,

It's been two days since I wrote that first letter, and guess what? It didn't make me feel any better—big surprise! _Not_. I still feel like the used gum on the street that you stepped on with your leather, sliver studded boot. Thanks for nothing, Anzu. Oh, and Opera, of course. And I swear, if I have to sit through one more speech by Anzu, I think I'm going to shoot myself. Or her. Either way is fine. I'm so angry, and I don't know why, and that just makes me all the more angry!

And you! Yeah, _you_! Who else is so low as to leave their so-called "_partner_"? How could you? How could you be so willing to leave after everything we went through? After everything I sacrificed? I could have been killed—countless times! But I still stayed with you. Why? Because that's what partners do! What kind of partner are you? Not a very good one, I'm thinking. But maybe it has been only one-sided the whole time. The moment you got your memories, you left. So, what? You were just using me? Just to attain your goals? So I actually meant nothing to you? I don't understand. You meant everything to me! Was it all just a game to you, because it wasn't to me. It wasn't! What if it _was _just a game to you? That thought just makes me want to punch you. Really hard. In the gut.

I attended a friend meeting earlier today. I tried to skip out, but Anzu brought it right over to my house. There was a lot of talk—from everybody—then some crying—from Anzu, of course—and then the next thing I know, I'm telling them to leave. It all happened so fast. I just finally came to the end of my string, and I snapped. Being like that scared me—it scared everyone else, too. I never knew I could get so mad. Anzu stayed behind, trying to talk to me through the front door, but I just walked away. I can't stand there and listen to her say, "Yugi, if we just stick together, we can get through this, because we're friends."

This is your fault! If I lose all my friends—everything that's still precious to me—it's because of you! I'm starting to think that I would have been better off never completing the puzzle. Why did you leave—and why did I ever let you go? Why didn't anyone stop you? Are we all really that stupid? What am I saying, of course we are! This whole life is stupid.

I'm going to bed. I need some time to think.  
I need to figure out why you left. Why I'm so angry because of it…and why I'm so hurt.

- You know who the hell this is

P.S - Can you believe this? Grandpa says I should apologize to everyone! What the hell did I do?

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Aw...poor Yuugi. I love putting my characters through angst. It makes me feel so alive! (LOL! Just joking, but I really do love my angst! :D)  
Please review!


	3. Stage 3: Bargaining

_The third stage involves the hope that the individual can somehow fix things._  
_Usually, the negotiation is made with a higher power in exchange for a reformed lifestyle._

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Dear Yami,

It's been a full week since my last letter. Sorry about getting so…so what, exactly? So pissy? Whatever.

You know, if you came back, I wouldn't be so pissy. Or maybe, if you come back, I promise I'll never complain about anything again. How about if I don't depend on you so much? You said that you didn't mind, and that you'd be around for as long as I needed, but I can't help but think I relied on you for too much. Jesus, I'd do whatever you want if you came back.

I wish I smoked or something. That way I could actually have something to give up for you, because of right now, I got nothing. But if I was hooked on cigarettes or something, I could just say, "If you come back I'll stop smoking." Wow, this is the first time I've ever wished I was into something bad. It's kinda funny.

You're going to hate me for this one, but if you come back, I promise to let you win whatever game we play! I know you hate it when people let others win, and that you're all for fair game and yadda, yadda, but maybe you'll change your mind if it means coming back to me.

You think about that. And you know I never go back on my word. Whatever you want, you got it. You just have to come back.

- Yuugi

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	4. Stage 4: Depression

_During the fourth stage, the person begins to understand the certainty of the situation.  
Because of this, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time crying and grieving.  
This process allows the them to disconnect from things of love and affection.  
It is not recommended to attempt to cheer up an individual who is in this stage.  
It is an important time for grieving that must be processed._

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Dear Yami,

What's the point? Why do I even bother writing yet another letter when I know you won't answer? There has to be something wrong with my head. Nothing matters. What's the point? You're gone, and that's not going to change. I get it now. I get it. You're gone. You're not...here anymore. I'm just to weak. I can't go it alone. I can't continue smiling if you're not around. I wish people would stop asking me if I'm okay. Do I look okay? Why doesn't anybody understand the paint I'm going through? This sadness…this dark gloom that's over powering me…it's so lonely. I don't want to see everyone else. They don't get it.

I'm just so damn lonely. I'm tired of trying. I may be smiling to everyone on the outside, but it's so forced, and they know it. On the inside I am dying. It's a slow, painful death.

I have no one to talk to. Strike that, everyone is still here, they want to talk, but I don't want to talk to them. I can't…I can't talk to them they way I talk to you. _Talked_ to you, I mean. God, it's like I'm running a hundred miles an hour—in the wrong direction. Maybe I should accept the fact that everything in my life is like sand. I pay so attention to it, and I care for it, but then a strong gust of wind blows it out of my hand, and I lose it. I lost my parents, I lost you. I wouldn't be surprised if my friends start leaving me as well.

I finally see the world for how it really is. A big ball of nothing. Full of selfish people—and I'm one of them.

- Yuugi

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	5. Stage 5: Acceptance

_In the last stage, the individual begins to come to terms with the events that have passed._  
_With this acceptance, they realize that they cannot change what has happened, and they must_  
_keep moving on. This stage is where they start feeling better. This is often referred to as a healing stage._

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Dear Yami,

I'm sorry. It's been such a hectic past few months. I thought I was going to break apart, but I didn't. I'm still here. I'm still living, even if you're gone. Funny, I used to get so depressed when I thought of you being gone, but now that pain is becoming softer. I think I'm healing. Slowly but surely, I'm moving on.

I recently made up with the gang. Grandpa was right to tell me apologize. It took me a while, but I realized that it _was_ my fault. I didn't know how much I was hurting the others around me. They all were trying to help, and I had actually made myself believe that I was the only one to miss you.

It's hard, you know? It's hard losing your best friend. But I think I know now that you would've wanted me to keep moving forward with a smile on my face into the future. We can never actually know what happens in the future, though. For example, I never dreamed that I would solve a puzzle and get to meet you. I also never thought I would lose you as well. Well, I didn't really lose you, did I? Everything you have taught me…it's a part of you that you've given me, and I'll take it where ever I go. Everyone else too! They all remember what you've done for them. That's how you'll live on, Yami. Here in our hearts.

I just wanted you to know this, Yami: I don't regret it. Any of it. Solving the puzzle, meeting you, hanging out with you and everyone else, finding your name, _everything._ I don't regret it! I would do it all again if I could.

I think this is my way of finally letting you be free. You deserve to rest and be happy with everyone from your actual time. It's where you belong. And I belong here, with my friends in the future. I'll keep moving forward, Yami. I'll keep myself in the light and live in a way I know you would be proud of.

I'm letting you go for now, but I don't plan on this being our last goodbye! When the day comes that I, too, have to leave the world and rest, I hope you'll be waiting for me, because I want to have another duel with you. But this time there won't be anything at stake, so we'll be free to have as much fun as we can. But, more than anything, I just want to be able to talk with you again. You better be ready, though! I have so many questions about Ancient Egypt!

- Yugi


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